How to See the Amazing in Every Day #GriefReflections #MotivationalThinking

Last week will go down in the history book of Michelle as one of the best weeks of my life for more reasons than I can count. My heart spilled over with love and joy that caused lots of happy tears. Even more tears than that video I posted last Monday. LOL!

Before you start thinking, “Great. It’s another one of those she has the best life ever posts. Everything works out perfectly for her. Blah. Blah. Blah.” Keep reading, please. 🙂 My week wasn’t perfect on its own, although it was filled with an incredible amount of blessings. However, I wouldn’t have been able to enjoy the good if I had allowed the negativity to weigh me down.

There’s a ton of stuff out in the world on positive thinking and how to be a positive person. I’ve read a lot of it, and I’ve also read a few articles that talk about how those books are full of nonsense and garbage.

Let me tell you a secret about what I’ve learned about positive thinking. It’s tough! Like super duper hard! I don’t just wake up with a glowing halo and dance with butterflies to the sound of birds singing. In reality I wake up with medusa hair to two dogs barking and whining to go out and a cat in my face meowing for treats. I then proceed to fall out of bed and stagger to the coffee maker.

I don’t get up and have this “easy” life, because newsflash life isn’t easy! Some mornings I get up with a bit of a cloud over my head and it takes all I have to focus on the good things in my life. Then some mornings I wake up and the sun is shining so bright it lights up my heart from the inside. Those days it’s easy to be positive BUT on the cloudy days it takes some work.

I’ve read some articles that talk about how positive thinking is useless wishful thinking. I see positive thinking as a hopeful perspective backed by action. It’s being honest with yourself and saying I don’t like this place, this outcome, this feeling, BUT I know it’s not going to last forever and here’s some things I can do to work on it. It’s resolving to yourself that some things (a job, a relationship, etc.) aren’t always meant to be BUT that doesn’t mean the process or the time you’ve spent on those endeavors has been wasted.

I fully believe we can learn something from every person and situation we encounter in life. We can take the good, the bad, the ugly, and the uncomfortable and use it to grow. Growth is a positive thing even if it’s hard to endure.

Being a positive thinker doesn’t mean casting a blind eye to the negative. It’s about recognizing the negative and how to handle it with a good attitude.

For example, last week (the week of our birthdays) for the past two years has been a difficult one. In my sobbing video I talk about having a happy heart, one that has healed. My heart doesn’t ache with every beat anymore but that doesn’t mean all I feel is joy. Oh contraire. I still feel sadness but it is balanced with peace. On Wednesday (Chris’s birthday) I awoke excited for the day and I knew I couldn’t wait to go to the cemetery. (Yes, that sounds super weird even to me.) I had a day filled with meetings, class, and friends. All day long, in between all of the busyness of the day I couldn’t wait to go to “see” Chris. After picking up a friend we headed to the cemetery for a visit. There I stood at the stone with a special message of gratitude and then a first for me, I blew him a kiss. I walked out of there without a single tear of sadness.

It’s a difficult feeling to describe—how you can miss someone and not be consumed with sadness but it is exactly how I feel. It’s a balance of love between this world and the next. You see, my heart has been healed but with it my mind has learned to think differently. The head and the heart are a team. Whereas before all my mind could focus on was the loss and how I’d never get to see Chris again here on this side of heaven, my mind and heart have found a way to reconcile that. While that’s true it doesn’t have to hurt because like all things this is temporary. I will see him again on the other side. He’s not gone forever.

I’ve been able to shift my thinking (with constant effort and lots of prayer) to realize that while all of this is sad and heartbreaking it doesn’t mean that I have to live the rest of my life sad and brokenhearted. My mind has been able to work with my heart and show me that my time with Chris was special and now it’s time to make my life special. To do so, I must shift my focus towards all the blessings in my life. And that’s exactly what I did last week!

I set my intentions to remember the blessings and it worked! I cannot tell you how many times I found myself with my hand over my heart like I was attempting my keep it from floating out of my chest. Over and over and over again my hand reflexively flew there. I spent a lot of time thanking God and Chris for all their birthday blessings and happy memories of the week.

You see positive thinking is more than wistfully daydreaming of all things wonderful. It’s about recognizing AND feeling sadness, disappointment, anger, and all those “bad” emotions and realizing that they serve a purpose for the betterment of your life. Use them as motivators. Take those tools and use them to climb your mountain. Maybe that makes me more of a motivational thinker than a positive one. Regardless, I believe in real life motivational thinking. If I can do it, so can YOU!

We always have a choice—to stay stuck in our current state or to brush off our shoulders and move to the next level. You’re never going to get where you’re supposed to be by sitting in the mud. Keep moving! It might be a slow go but slow and steady wins the race. And you my dear, are a winner! 😉

Keep moving. Keep climbing. And never give up on your always and forever! <3

Never Give Up on Your Always and Forever-1

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