The Magic of Today-Something New Is Coming!

This morning I had plans to tackle this long to do list after my morning cup of coffee from Kam the Keurig. Yes, my coffeemaker has a name. Judge me if you wish. 😉 But after reading my devotional, letting the dogs out three times within thirty minutes (they really like to mess with me in the morning) I opened up my laptop and started writing. Three thousand words in less than three hours filled my screen. Three thousand words, followed by an outline (I NEVER outline), and a realization that I’ve found a way to write something I’ve been trying to write for quite sometime and that is my story about grief.

If you follow the blog, you’ve seen my #GriefConfessions posts from time to time about my journey through grieving the unexpected loss of my husband. Those posts and your responses to them have been the most healing and worthwhile words I’ve ever written. It’s been on my heart for over a year now to write a book about my grief journey. I’ve talked about it with close friends and family, I’ve started it numerous times but each time something was off. It either became too difficult emotionally or it didn’t feel right. So, being the “trust your gut” person I am I walked away from it but the lingering desire remained.

This story is deeply personal but its also something that affects everyone who felt and continues to feel the loss of Chris in their lives. I’ve felt immense pressure to respect their feelings and privacy while sharing my personal journey. That’s a difficult balance to strike and a huge responsibility. Talk about pressure! BUT I’ve found a way to overcome this– you know I’m not one to back down from a challenge.

So this fiction romance writer is going to add something new to her resume–a nonfiction book. I don’t know when it will be finished but it will be finished when the time is “write” (Haha!) and it’s something I’m anxious to share with you. 🙂

Have a fabulous weekend! #LoveHugsAndSunshine #NewBeginnings #ItsTime

Love,Hugs, &Sunshine(1)

Fear Factor – Fight Your Fears

Fear—one of my least favorite emotions. Fear motivates us to either take action or hide in the corner somewhere. It turns on the fight or flight response. My fears have been rising to the surface a lot lately and its most likely because come Monday I will be full swing into real life.

I’ve looked forward to 2015 for months and now it’s time to make things happen. To work my butt off and be productive. To take action!

But fear being the Debbie Downer it is keeps trying to pull me under so I thought I’d do what I do best…I’d make a list. I know right? I’m a major weirdo but it’s a way to control, organize, and attack the issues head on. So, here I sit compiling a list of my fears. I’ve come up with 12 so far—two professional and the other ten personal. (Way more fears than Tobias/Four in Divergent. I’m not that cool or that sexy. LOL!)

Here’s a glimpse some of them.

  1. I’m not author material. I don’t have what it takes to make it in the market. I don’t have the content, the skills, or the follow through to make it. And by make it I mean make enough of a living to keep the lights on.
  2. I’ll waste a year of my life reaching for crazy dreams that sound better in my fantasies than in real life.
  3. I’m wasting my life. I’m missing out on something or someone.
  4. I’ll let the people I love down.
  5. I’m deluding myself about EVERYTHING.
  6. I’ll have to survive another loss equally or (if it’s even possible) more heartbreaking than losing Chris.

I know what I would say to a friend if they posted these fears but I’m not seeking words of encouragement rather  giving you a glimpse of the crazy notions that run through my head. I can’t be the only one, right?

I’d like to tell you a poetic story that I wrote all these fears down on paper and burned them to symbolize their destruction but…

#1 I’d most likely burn myself and

#2 inadvertently set my house on fire

I’d rather not have to explain to the fire department and homeowners insurance company how I accidentally set fire to my home. Not cool. Maybe I should add burning down my house to the list?

The first step in conquering my fears is putting them in black and white–some surprised me, some didn’t but now I know. A study noted that people who wrote down their goals were 42% more likely to achieve them. I’m hoping by writing down my fears I’m upping my chances of blowing them out of the water. Even if my fears become a reality, when/if they do it won’t matter anymore. I won’t care. I will have broken free of the fear shackles. A girl can hope, right?

We’ve all got fears just like we each have the power within us to conquer them. I’m suiting up and getting ready for the first battle of many. Hopefully the FIGHT will win out over flight. 😉 #FightYourFears